It's a sad thing when we find ourselves disappointed by our hero's.

Have you ever looked up to someone so much and wondered what thoughts were going through their head, how they got to be where they are today, how their life was in general. Have you ever wanted to be that certain someone, someone that people look up too and admire. We'll I definitely have, and sometimes we are so in awe of a person that we overlook all the simple flaws and just focus on how great they are. 


Some of the hero's in this world are merely simple people that have done some act to get your attention and maybe helped someone out or had a lot of friends, maybe they have a really good job or the 'perfect family' but in all reality... there is no such thing. Everyone has flaws, sometimes your hero isn't the person you thought they were, and sometimes you are going to be disappointed in someone.


I have news for you. The perfection in someone isn't necessarily how nice someone is, how great they look, how perfect their skin tone, or the size of their closet.... but it is the imperfections. It's the things that make them different than everyone else. And when you see those difference and find beauty in them and overlook the fact that nobody is perfect no matter how close they seem to be, that is when you become my hero. 


My hero is anyone who can see the beauty in imperfection. <3

I believe...

A Birth Certificate shows that we were born
A Death Certificate shows that we died
Pictures show that we live! 
Have a seat. Relax . . . 
And read this slowly.

I Believe...
That just because two people argue,
It doesn't mean they don't love each other. 
And just because they don't argue, 
It doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if 
We understand that friends change.

I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is, 
they're going to hurt you 
every once in a while, 
and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow, 
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I Believe... 
That you can do something in an instant 
That will give you heartache for life.

I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time 
To become the person I want to be.

I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with Loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe... 
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe...
That we are responsible for what 
We do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe...
That heroes are the people
who do what has to be done,
when it needs to be done, 
regardless of the consequences.

I Believe...
That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing
and have the best time.

I Believe....
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...
That sometimes, when I'm angry, 
I have the right to be angry, but that
doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe...
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had 
And what you've learned from them, and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe...
That it isn't always enough 
to be forgiven by others. 
Sometimes you have to learn
to forgive yourself.

I Believe...
That no matter how bad 
your heart is broken, 
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe...
That our background and circumstances 
may have influenced who we are, but, 
we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...
That you shouldn't be 
so eager to find out a secret. 
It could change your life forever.

I Believe...
Two people can look at the exact same thing
And see something totally different.

I Believe...
That your life can be changed 
in a matter of hours 
by people who don't even know you.

I Believe...
That even when you think 
you have no more to give, 
When a friend cries out to you,
you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall 
do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...
That the people you care about 
most in life 
are taken from you too soon.

Bikini Season is COMING!

I have been very lazy over this past fall, winter and spring... but this summer I have decided to get back into shape! I have been working out every day for the past week, and already feel SO MUCH BETTER!

It isn't just about working out though, you also need to eat healthier and my Personal Trainer said that to lose weight you should actually eat small meals (300 calories or less) every 3 hours. Weird, I always thought not eating was the way to go... Apparently I was wrong.

I used to be Anorexic for a while my freshman year of high school and was super tiny, the smallest girl in my grade, but then I started using birth control and depression pills at the same time and between them something went wrong and I started gaining a lot of weight. Not saying I am really overweight, I just miss how everyone complimented on how tiny I used to be so I decided to get back in shape the healthy way instead of starving myself and have decided to eat healthier. Hopefully some results start showing fast.

It is my Birthday on Tuesday, and everyone wants to look good for their birthday hah. Although I am only turning 20 so its is nothing too special, but either way I will be sure to have a good time. :)

This is Kristen dedicating herself to a stronger, healthier, more fit lifestyle! <3

One simple glimpse.

There is a voice that will never be heard.
A story left untold,
and a heart left broken
only to assume
the worst.

When you look back
you remember the beginning
and the end
but that chunk in the middle
that is the foundation.

I see things in yellow and blue
happy and sad
the warmth of the sun
and the brilliance of a star,
or the trickle of a lone tear
and the absence of an empty sky.

I see my life in picture frames
smiles and simple moments,
but the rest is missing.
A photo is just that
just one
one simple glimpse
of what was left behind.

The Twins=Great Wake-up call!

So today, I woke up to my phone going off, and I couldn't find it... Eventually I did on my floor.
And guess what, my friend called asking I wanted to go to the twins game! I woke right the hell up and was ready before you knew it! Ha its funny how you can instantly wake up sometimes... but I had a blast, although I am pretty sure everything there is soooo overpriced! 
Anyways we won 10-9 so it was pretty legit. 
Then I raced back home and played a softball game and won 19-11 Hell yes! Good day!
Until now that I am doing homework and studying. Blahh. 
:)

Sometimes the wind blows too hard and the current is too strong.

Today was my Dad's Birthday and so like every birthday since he passed away I tied a note to a balloon and sent it to him in heaven. I feel like it was a great idea until the wind thought differently. My balloon ended up flying away in the wind and plumiting into the water. So in conclusion, my note drowned today... FAIL.

 This is the balloon stuck in the water. So sad.

I look in your eyes,
I pear in your heart;
I see how much you love me.
Through Unspoken Words,
your still overheard
I listen to every heart beat.

Though times are hard,
you stand so strong.
Your WILLPOWER,
It amazes me.
I just want you to know,
I'm here by your side,
I wouldn't be me without you.

If there were any steps
that I could follow,
yours would be my first choice.
Your ONE IN A MILLION
I love you so much.
I miss the closeness,
you feel so far;
Conversations so short,
almost always one way;
Im so sorry I never know what to say.

There's so many stories
you wish to tell;
I wish I could listen
and know you so well.
Yet, your voice is left unheard.
I wish I could hear;
even one word.
Not even, one word.

If there was any steps that I would follow;
Yours would be my first choice.
Your ONE IN A MILLION
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

I miss the closeness
You feel so far,
conversations so short;
almost always one way.
IM SO SORRY
I never know what to say.
'never know what to say...

MY SUPERMAN! ♥
He couldn't watch me graduate
or walk me down the aisle,
watch me go through college
or have my first child,
he couldnt stay for christmas
or even my birthday,
maybe if I asked him
he'd still be here today.

I used to watch him suffer
and yet he never cried,
watched his muscle fade away
and be trapped inside his mind,
the strongest man I ever knew
is watching over me today,
what I would give for just one visit
so we could laugh and play.

I miss you Dadders R.I.P 11/4/2009

Today is my father's birthday. He had a medical suicide 2 years ago on November 4th. He was diagnosed with ALS also known as Lou Gehrig's disease and lived with the disease for 16 years.  He was an amazing man and went through hell but stayed positive through it all. When he decided he no longer wanted to live he could no longer walk, talk, breathe, move, or do anything on his own. All he had was his 5 senses. I miss him every day. Happy Birthday Daddy! <3

Home: Coming back to the same place feels so different.

When you go off to college you have to leave a lot behind. A lot more than you would ever imagine. Went I left to college I left my family, my animals, my house, yard, country-life, and a lot of my memories and happiness. Coming home, everything feels so different. The weather and smells trigger memories you wish you could repeat but something is just not right, the furniture is different. You feel like an intruder in your own home almost. and all you want is someplace that feels like home. Right now, I have a place where I grew up and my mom now lives with her boyfriend and then I have another house where I live with 10 other girls, which I cannot call my own either. Even my friends have all changed at home. Yet, something in this place still feels familiar, its just not the same. But I guess I am not the same person I used to be either.

Gummy Vitamins

I have this addiction to gummy vitamins. Usually i would steer away from vitamins but these are just too damn good. I overdose on vitamins and that doesn't sound too bad but it is actually pretty bad for a person I guess. So what do I do, I mean I see those yummy cars and flinstone shaped gummies sitting on my desk and they look so good and when I get the munchies I just can't seem to help it! YUmm yumm! but seriously if you can't get your children to take vitamins gummy is the way, they will be begging for them every morning, just be sure to watch their intake.!

Opps. I am definitely not with it!

So yesterday I had a pretty bad day. I had a lot to do, still do... and my mind was definitely somewhere else. On my way to class in the morning I completely walked all the way past my building and into the next building. When I realized what happened.. I was definitely not a happy camper... and then moving later into the day I proceeded to go to the library to work on my stack of homework and decided I really needed to go to the bathroom. Walked in there turned the corner and realized there were uninals and a man in the bathroom. My conclusion: I definitely was not in the right bathroom. I got out of there as fast as possible. Avoided the many curious stares and proceeded to a table by myself. Still having to go pee, but I decided the humiliation was not worth it so I just held it. Not a good start to my day! =/

Let me sleep

Why is it sooo goddamn hard to wake up in the morning. I used to be a morning person and wake up by 6 every morning. Now (I think it is because I know I have to get up) I just want to sleep forever. But there is this thing holding me back from that.... CLASS!! If only class was optional... but that never happens. This is why you see so many college students wearing sweats to class... who wants to get up even earlier, shower, get dressed, do your hair (and considering I am a girl, it takes forever) and then do your make-up and add a little smell good and your on your way.
The way ladies do it here on campus is... roll out of bed half asleep.. Messy Bun. grab the backpack and a banana and out the door. So much simpler. Until you realize your sitting next to the cute boy in class.. and you would rather him not notice how terrible you look!
AND then there is the whole thing where you are so used to being up so late doing homework and hanging out with your friends that you can NEVER go to sleep early! Trust me I've tried! It does not happen! I used to even take myquil before bed just to fall asleep. Yes, I know not smart but still! That was like the only thing that worked. Blahh...
Alright off to class I go.... =/

Training.

When did they make job training so damn hard. I think I have done more studying and homework for my job then I have for school, and let me tell you I took way too many credits this semester for my mental stability... So what should I do, let my grades suffer because I have so much to do for work? Or do I get my homework done and make it look like I don't care for work. I feel as if there is no win-win. I understand people want their employees to be well-educated... but there is a point where they need to understand that school comes first... especially diring finals. Balls. This is weak.

The Great Wolf Lodge

This past weekend I went to Wisconsin Dells with my friend Kailee and her family.  We had a lot of fun in the waterpark! They had a lot of awesome rides such as the tornado! And get this all of the lifeguards wore Crocs. Yes I am one of those select few people that actually like crocs and ended up buying a pair of camo crocs at the mall right across the parking lot. We went to a few really fun arcades and went bowling, and all the restaurants in the dells are amazing. It is a great place to go with your family. There were so many people there on family vacations it was really fun to see. Growing up I never got to go on those family vacations so it was really nice to see how much fun everyone was having! Also, a great addition is... It is an amazing workout! Especially carrying those tubes all around and up the stairs to the slides, but definitely worth it!

Stalkers.

They used to be your friend. Maybe you hung out everyday and had fun together, but at some point in time, you grew apart.  The drunkin phone calls. What is your next move? How do you remove someone from your life that you don't want to be there without a restraining order or hurting their feelings? I wish I had the answer to this question, because I could really use a solution right about now. Obviously "best friends" aren't forever. Get used to that and leave me alone please. I can't support you anymore. Your not my child.

Wake Up

There comes a day in your life that you realize that you are not truly happy.  You realize you only live once, and only you can change the way you perceive life.  People may come and go and inspire you, but eventually that spark sizzles out.  You shouldn't have to sit and wait for happiness to come into your like, you should go find it. Find whatever makes you happy, what makes you smile or who for that matter.  When you hibernate at home you miss out on so much life.  A great way to find happiness is to volunteer. Seriously, if you just go out of your way to make someone else's day just a little bit better and see the appreciation they have, it affects you as well.  People that have passion for something, whether is being a sport, riding horse, making crafts, or drawing. It is a release that helps you let some of the stress in your life out and makes you feel a little better.  Everyone has something, something they are unhappy about, stressed about or even depressed about, yet it is up to you to choose how you want to handle it. Happiness doesn't always just find you. You have to find what you love doing and what puts a smile on your face, and maybe just maybe things will turn up a bit! <3